Lard Crisis!!!

[sildil]

NATIONAL LARD CRISIS THREAT TO CHRISTMAS

A Local resident fears her traditional Christmas could be spoilt because of a national shortage of lard.

The elderly lady, (78), who lives locally, has always used this ingredient in her mince pies, sausage rolls and roast potatoes.

But. after finding none on the supermarket shelves, she was told there was a national shortage and that all of this country's supply had been sent to Poland.

'I've been looking for lard for two months all over the county and now I am getting desperate because it's getting very close to Christmas.'

Comments

[jaiden-s.livejournal.com]

No, dear. The lard hasn't been sent to Poland. It's taken up residency here in the US, on my backside. I've got tons of it. Unfortunately, it's all firmly attached.

[sildil]

Aaaah, well, we are obviously desperate for it here! Give it back!

[ilyusha-a.livejournal.com]

*gasps and throws her hands around in dramatic fashion*

No Lard? What ever shall we do?

*grins*

Lúthien

[sildil]

*wails* I have no idea!!! We will have to use....*gasps*....dripping and butter and veggie 'lard' (which actually is a perfectly good substitute)!

[hidden-hero.livejournal.com]

This was in Canadian papers about 2 months ago.....the business sections had predicted this shortage and reported it all over the place.

*0__o...fancy that. Christmas in the UK without a proper mince tart in the land!!! I can just imagine these little old ladies landing in jail over the holidays for starting riots in the shop aisle over what small shipments of lard make it to the shelves...

*face palm*

[sildil]

ROTFL! Oh yes, there is NOTHING scarier than a little old lady on the rampage!

[feanaros-house.livejournal.com]

Poor ladies. Everyone making fun of them. *leaves a bunch of lard for the old ladies*

Maeglin

[sildil]

I am sure they will be most grateful!

Actually, the thing that amused me far more about the story is the way our local paper splashed the 1/2" headline across the page. I LOVE local newspapers, they find major stories in the smallest things! And if ANYONE does a spomsored walk for ANY charity, you can guarantee the photo will be of said person holding up boots. Every single time.