All the Young Dudes: Part Five
Aug. 22nd, 2006 10:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sildilTitle: All the Young Dudes
Author: Sildil
Rating: Adult
Warnings: Angst (lots, last chapter), teenage sex
Summary: Caeru's secret past
Disclaimer: Caeru and Abrimel, and Pell, belong to Storm Constantine as do her wonderful Wraeththu, Dante and Cai belong to me
(Cross posted to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
raythoo as always)
All the Young Dudes: Part five
"How are you feeling sweetheart?" a distant voice whispered in Cai's ear. "You were a bit overwhelmed by the aruna."
Cai moaned softly and tried to open his eyes. A blurry face appeared beside him on the pillow. "The...what?"
"Aruna darling, it's what we call fucking, only it's MUCH better. You passed out," said Jeremiah with a smile.
Cai squinted, trying to get Jeremiah's face into focus. With a teeny bit of effort it worked and he smiled back. "I feel fantastic, just..." he peered at his new lover again. "...I can't see you, not very clearly...what happened to me?"
Jeremiah stroked Cai's hair back off his face and frowned. "I don't know, sometimes har aren't quite perfect after they've been incepted...and sometimes they don't make it at all," he added softly. "But you look stunning! Wait till you look in the mirror!" He sat up and called out, "Fabian! Get your arse in here and bring some food, drink and a mirror for our new har!"
There was the sound of cursing and fumbling and a pretty young lad ('no, 'har'...' Cai corrected himself) who looked no more than thirteen or fourteen appeared round the edge of the curtain, struggling with a plate of bread and cold meat, a glass (slightly grubby) of what appeared to be beer and a large piece of broken glass, the back having been painted black. He dumped all the things on the floor beside Cai's mattress and stomped away again.
"Take no notice of him, he's alright really, just a bit jealous. Now, here you go, take a look!" said Jeremiah, holding up the makeshift mirror.
"Jealous, what of?" asked Cai and then gasped as he caught sight of himself in the dark reflective glass.
Even though his reflection was clouded by the less than adequate mirror, Cai could see that his once mousy blonde hair was now pearl white. His skin was clear and delicately flushed with passion, his eyes a little darker, his nose a little finer and his lips...god! His lips were sultry and pouting, suggesting all sorts of wicked ideas to the newly incepted har. He knew exactly why Fabian was jealous, he would have felt the same if introduced to the beautiful creature in the dark glass.
"God...is that really me?" said the face in the reflection.
Jeremiah nodded and appeared over his shoulder, staring at the image. He nuzzled at Cai's neck and murmured, his warm breath sending fresh hot shivers through Cai's body. "Oh yeah, it certainly is. You like what you see?"
Cai laughed, the terror and pain of inception quite gone and forgotten. "Hell yes! Fuck, if we'd known how we'd end up, we would have tried to find you months ago! What about Dante? What does he look like?" Cai asked Jeremiah eagerly. "I can't wait to see him!"
Jeremiah's face disappeared from the mirror and Cai turned to catch his frown. "Jeremiah? Where is Dante?" A cold chill replaced the heated shiver and Cai grabbed hold of the har's arm in panic.
"Where is he? Take me to him...now...please?"
Jeremiah pulled his arm free and stood swiftly. "I can't. Sorry. It's like I said, sometimes boys don't come through inception quite right, and sometimes they don't make it at all. Dante..." Jeremiah avoided looking into Cai's eyes. "...Dante was unlucky. Sorry."
Cai stared. He felt as if he had been kicked in his stomach, he couldn't breath, couldn't think, couldn't...he couldn't survive without Dante. What was the point?
Jeremiah chanced a glance at the devastated har and winced. Damn, he was taking it bad. "Cai...say something. Do you want a drink? I might be able to find something...Fabian! Fabian, bring some whiskey. Cai's had a shock," he yelled.
"I d..don't want a drink...I want Dante..." whispered Cai. "Please take me to him? At least let me see him?"
Jeremiah shook his head. "No, you can't...we never keep the...we never leave anything for anyone to find. If they saw how we changed, what we are...we would be hunted down. Sorry Cai."
Cai nodded, his face expressionless and empty. "I see. What happened...did he...suffer?"
"No I don't think so. He wouldn't have known what was happening. It was...quick." Jeremiah knew all the platitudes, knew all the things that a friend...or lover would want to hear. And surely what mattered was that Cai could move on from this and accept what he had become as fast as possible? Jeremiah felt no guilt in lying to the bereaved.
"Are you sure you don't want a drink? It might..."
"...No, just...just leave me alone for a minute...please?" begged Cai. Jeremiah frowned slightly and nodded once, then turned and left the small cubicle.
*****
'Dante...why did you leave me? How am I going to manage without you? Oh god...and our band...all those names we thought of. I...I can never use them...never.' Cai lay back on the mattress, his memories of the passionate aruna with Jeremiah dead and dry as dust. It meant nothing. None of it meant anything at all.
Tears slipped down into his hair soaking the thin pillow and Cai brought up his hands to cover his face. He sobbed until he had nothing left inside him to break. Shit, all that pain...what was it Jeremiah called it? Inception? I was so fucking proud when I looked in that bloody mirror...and I wanted to see you, Dante. God, you would have made a beautiful har...stunning...the best. If I look so good...fuck, you would have broken everyone's...no everyhar's heart...instead of just mine.
"Why did you leave me?!" Cai wailed, and sat up, catching sight of himself in the mirror as he did so. His beautiful, haunted face stared back tauntingly. He gave a cry and picked the black glass up, throwing it against the wall and smashing it into a hundred shards of silver.
The noise brought both Jeremiah and Fabian running. "Oh fuck, that's bloody great, seven years bad luck now!" whined the younger har and began to pick up the pieces. "No matter about that...do you know how bloody hard it is to get hold of such things Cai?" complained Jeremiah.
"I don't give a shit about your precious mirror!" Cai said in a broken voice. "I've lost the one person who meant anything to me. I'll never, ever be able to find someone...somehar as wonderful as Dante!" Cai stood on shaky legs and began to gather together the few possessions he had, stuffing them into a plastic carrier bag.
"Where do you think you're going, you're not..." began Jeremiah.
"...Away. As far away from here as possible. I wish we'd never come here, I wish I wasn't different...changed, I wish we'd never been incepted, I wish...I wish I wasn't b...beautiful. There's no point without him to share it."
Jeremiah nodded. "I can understand that...Cai, are you sure? It's a scary world out there for a har on his own..."
"...I'm sure it is. But I'll survive. I owe it to Dante." Cai paused. "And I'm not Cai anymore. He died. I'm...Caeru." He looked round at the sordid little cubicle with loathing. "I'd say thanks, but I'm sure you can understand why I won't. Goodbye Jeremiah...Fabian," he said with a nod to each har, and left.
The cubicle curtain swung in the breeze behind him and Fabian and Jeremiah listened to his departing footsteps as they echoed through the deserted school.
When they heard the sound of the doors slamming shut in the distance and it was obvious that Cai had gone, never to return, Fabian sighed.
"Why didn't you tell him? Poor fucking har,"
Jeremiah smiled. "Yeah, poor fucking Cai...sorry Caeru. Now, shall we go and see how my dear Dante is? He really is rather special."
Fabian glared. "ALL your new playmates are special, till you get tired of them and a new one comes along."
"Oh darling, you're just jealous," said Jeremiah, running his fingers gently along Fabian's jaw until he gripped the young har's chin and pulled him close to share breath. "But you know I love you best."
Fabian moaned into Jeremiah's mouth unable to resist, then pulled away angrily. "You're a fucking manipulative bastard, and you know it."
The older har chuckled. "Yeah...I know it."
*****
Dante stood at the grimy window, beating at it with his fists and screaming, ' Cai! Cai, wait!,' but no sound came forth. Inception had removed the singer's voice. Please! God....please! Don't go Cai! Don't...don't leave me....! But Cai didn't hear, couldn't hear, and Dante watched his graceful, beautiful friend until he reached the end of the road and disappeared into the rubble of the ruined town.
The End
Author: Sildil
Rating: Adult
Warnings: Angst (lots, last chapter), teenage sex
Summary: Caeru's secret past
Disclaimer: Caeru and Abrimel, and Pell, belong to Storm Constantine as do her wonderful Wraeththu, Dante and Cai belong to me
(Cross posted to
raythoo as always)All the Young Dudes: Part five
"How are you feeling sweetheart?" a distant voice whispered in Cai's ear. "You were a bit overwhelmed by the aruna."
Cai moaned softly and tried to open his eyes. A blurry face appeared beside him on the pillow. "The...what?"
"Aruna darling, it's what we call fucking, only it's MUCH better. You passed out," said Jeremiah with a smile.
Cai squinted, trying to get Jeremiah's face into focus. With a teeny bit of effort it worked and he smiled back. "I feel fantastic, just..." he peered at his new lover again. "...I can't see you, not very clearly...what happened to me?"
Jeremiah stroked Cai's hair back off his face and frowned. "I don't know, sometimes har aren't quite perfect after they've been incepted...and sometimes they don't make it at all," he added softly. "But you look stunning! Wait till you look in the mirror!" He sat up and called out, "Fabian! Get your arse in here and bring some food, drink and a mirror for our new har!"
There was the sound of cursing and fumbling and a pretty young lad ('no, 'har'...' Cai corrected himself) who looked no more than thirteen or fourteen appeared round the edge of the curtain, struggling with a plate of bread and cold meat, a glass (slightly grubby) of what appeared to be beer and a large piece of broken glass, the back having been painted black. He dumped all the things on the floor beside Cai's mattress and stomped away again.
"Take no notice of him, he's alright really, just a bit jealous. Now, here you go, take a look!" said Jeremiah, holding up the makeshift mirror.
"Jealous, what of?" asked Cai and then gasped as he caught sight of himself in the dark reflective glass.
Even though his reflection was clouded by the less than adequate mirror, Cai could see that his once mousy blonde hair was now pearl white. His skin was clear and delicately flushed with passion, his eyes a little darker, his nose a little finer and his lips...god! His lips were sultry and pouting, suggesting all sorts of wicked ideas to the newly incepted har. He knew exactly why Fabian was jealous, he would have felt the same if introduced to the beautiful creature in the dark glass.
"God...is that really me?" said the face in the reflection.
Jeremiah nodded and appeared over his shoulder, staring at the image. He nuzzled at Cai's neck and murmured, his warm breath sending fresh hot shivers through Cai's body. "Oh yeah, it certainly is. You like what you see?"
Cai laughed, the terror and pain of inception quite gone and forgotten. "Hell yes! Fuck, if we'd known how we'd end up, we would have tried to find you months ago! What about Dante? What does he look like?" Cai asked Jeremiah eagerly. "I can't wait to see him!"
Jeremiah's face disappeared from the mirror and Cai turned to catch his frown. "Jeremiah? Where is Dante?" A cold chill replaced the heated shiver and Cai grabbed hold of the har's arm in panic.
"Where is he? Take me to him...now...please?"
Jeremiah pulled his arm free and stood swiftly. "I can't. Sorry. It's like I said, sometimes boys don't come through inception quite right, and sometimes they don't make it at all. Dante..." Jeremiah avoided looking into Cai's eyes. "...Dante was unlucky. Sorry."
Cai stared. He felt as if he had been kicked in his stomach, he couldn't breath, couldn't think, couldn't...he couldn't survive without Dante. What was the point?
Jeremiah chanced a glance at the devastated har and winced. Damn, he was taking it bad. "Cai...say something. Do you want a drink? I might be able to find something...Fabian! Fabian, bring some whiskey. Cai's had a shock," he yelled.
"I d..don't want a drink...I want Dante..." whispered Cai. "Please take me to him? At least let me see him?"
Jeremiah shook his head. "No, you can't...we never keep the...we never leave anything for anyone to find. If they saw how we changed, what we are...we would be hunted down. Sorry Cai."
Cai nodded, his face expressionless and empty. "I see. What happened...did he...suffer?"
"No I don't think so. He wouldn't have known what was happening. It was...quick." Jeremiah knew all the platitudes, knew all the things that a friend...or lover would want to hear. And surely what mattered was that Cai could move on from this and accept what he had become as fast as possible? Jeremiah felt no guilt in lying to the bereaved.
"Are you sure you don't want a drink? It might..."
"...No, just...just leave me alone for a minute...please?" begged Cai. Jeremiah frowned slightly and nodded once, then turned and left the small cubicle.
*****
'Dante...why did you leave me? How am I going to manage without you? Oh god...and our band...all those names we thought of. I...I can never use them...never.' Cai lay back on the mattress, his memories of the passionate aruna with Jeremiah dead and dry as dust. It meant nothing. None of it meant anything at all.
Tears slipped down into his hair soaking the thin pillow and Cai brought up his hands to cover his face. He sobbed until he had nothing left inside him to break. Shit, all that pain...what was it Jeremiah called it? Inception? I was so fucking proud when I looked in that bloody mirror...and I wanted to see you, Dante. God, you would have made a beautiful har...stunning...the best. If I look so good...fuck, you would have broken everyone's...no everyhar's heart...instead of just mine.
"Why did you leave me?!" Cai wailed, and sat up, catching sight of himself in the mirror as he did so. His beautiful, haunted face stared back tauntingly. He gave a cry and picked the black glass up, throwing it against the wall and smashing it into a hundred shards of silver.
The noise brought both Jeremiah and Fabian running. "Oh fuck, that's bloody great, seven years bad luck now!" whined the younger har and began to pick up the pieces. "No matter about that...do you know how bloody hard it is to get hold of such things Cai?" complained Jeremiah.
"I don't give a shit about your precious mirror!" Cai said in a broken voice. "I've lost the one person who meant anything to me. I'll never, ever be able to find someone...somehar as wonderful as Dante!" Cai stood on shaky legs and began to gather together the few possessions he had, stuffing them into a plastic carrier bag.
"Where do you think you're going, you're not..." began Jeremiah.
"...Away. As far away from here as possible. I wish we'd never come here, I wish I wasn't different...changed, I wish we'd never been incepted, I wish...I wish I wasn't b...beautiful. There's no point without him to share it."
Jeremiah nodded. "I can understand that...Cai, are you sure? It's a scary world out there for a har on his own..."
"...I'm sure it is. But I'll survive. I owe it to Dante." Cai paused. "And I'm not Cai anymore. He died. I'm...Caeru." He looked round at the sordid little cubicle with loathing. "I'd say thanks, but I'm sure you can understand why I won't. Goodbye Jeremiah...Fabian," he said with a nod to each har, and left.
The cubicle curtain swung in the breeze behind him and Fabian and Jeremiah listened to his departing footsteps as they echoed through the deserted school.
When they heard the sound of the doors slamming shut in the distance and it was obvious that Cai had gone, never to return, Fabian sighed.
"Why didn't you tell him? Poor fucking har,"
Jeremiah smiled. "Yeah, poor fucking Cai...sorry Caeru. Now, shall we go and see how my dear Dante is? He really is rather special."
Fabian glared. "ALL your new playmates are special, till you get tired of them and a new one comes along."
"Oh darling, you're just jealous," said Jeremiah, running his fingers gently along Fabian's jaw until he gripped the young har's chin and pulled him close to share breath. "But you know I love you best."
Fabian moaned into Jeremiah's mouth unable to resist, then pulled away angrily. "You're a fucking manipulative bastard, and you know it."
The older har chuckled. "Yeah...I know it."
*****
Dante stood at the grimy window, beating at it with his fists and screaming, ' Cai! Cai, wait!,' but no sound came forth. Inception had removed the singer's voice. Please! God....please! Don't go Cai! Don't...don't leave me....! But Cai didn't hear, couldn't hear, and Dante watched his graceful, beautiful friend until he reached the end of the road and disappeared into the rubble of the ruined town.
The End
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-22 11:50 pm (UTC)::shakes Sildil::
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-23 12:05 am (UTC)However there WILL be a sequel...I promise *grins*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-23 01:29 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-23 10:28 am (UTC)Well originally the bunny didn't want Dante to survive, but he is too nice a character to lose, so yes, there is a sequel planned!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-23 11:30 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-23 03:23 am (UTC)Damn your love of teh angsty!!
Actually, it's wonderful, dear. Bittersweet. Well done!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-23 10:29 am (UTC)Thanks, and now there has to be the sequel of course :D