Language and use thereof...
Mar. 16th, 2004 09:53 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sildilAt the risk of opening up a can of worms, what do people feel about the use of, for want of a better word, 'profanities'? And what do you class as such?
Personally, I have very little problem with what people say, it is what is behind the expression that I don't like. I mean, some people can say something very mild, but if it is with the deliberate intention to shock or hurt and with bad feelings behind it, then that upsets me more than something stronger said casually.
Now I admit that I swear occasionally, well, probably quite a bit when stressed..well OK a lot if the computer gives me a stupid error message, but usually don't in 'normal' conversation, and I don't have a problem when others do. BUT if someone were to say something without using ANY swearing that was offensive, say, racist or homophobic, then that WOULD upset me.
As a parent of 18, 16 and 14 year old teenagers I have always tried to teach them that what matters is the context and the use of words, rather than the actual content that matters. They swear, mildly, (at least at home!)and only occasionally (at home!) but I do not criticise or judge...hate it...I grew up with enough of that to know what it's like. There is nothing worse that trying to express a strong feeling and being corrected on one's grammar! (And other half had it far worse than me, being the son of a journalist!) And I consider them to be old enough now to know what is 'right and wrong' and how to use words effectively.
Personally?...I would rather the occasional mild cuss said unthinkingly or in 'innocence' than words of any other sort that deliberately hurt and humiliate, and believe me, I've been on the receiving end of plenty of those. Just wondered.
Personally, I have very little problem with what people say, it is what is behind the expression that I don't like. I mean, some people can say something very mild, but if it is with the deliberate intention to shock or hurt and with bad feelings behind it, then that upsets me more than something stronger said casually.
Now I admit that I swear occasionally, well, probably quite a bit when stressed..well OK a lot if the computer gives me a stupid error message, but usually don't in 'normal' conversation, and I don't have a problem when others do. BUT if someone were to say something without using ANY swearing that was offensive, say, racist or homophobic, then that WOULD upset me.
As a parent of 18, 16 and 14 year old teenagers I have always tried to teach them that what matters is the context and the use of words, rather than the actual content that matters. They swear, mildly, (at least at home!)and only occasionally (at home!) but I do not criticise or judge...hate it...I grew up with enough of that to know what it's like. There is nothing worse that trying to express a strong feeling and being corrected on one's grammar! (And other half had it far worse than me, being the son of a journalist!) And I consider them to be old enough now to know what is 'right and wrong' and how to use words effectively.
Personally?...I would rather the occasional mild cuss said unthinkingly or in 'innocence' than words of any other sort that deliberately hurt and humiliate, and believe me, I've been on the receiving end of plenty of those. Just wondered.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-03-16 05:01 am (UTC)And talking of teenagers, I remember when my eldest, (now 18 and therefore entitled to speak exactly how he sees fit!) was quite young, about 6 or 7, using the 'F' word...I told him not to, (though not particularly angrily) and then left the room. Then I thought, that wasn't particularly helpful of me, poor kid! so I went back in and sat down and explained what it actually meant. It suddenly seemed ridiculous to 'ban' a word, and in fact after that he didn't use it again, at least not until he was much older, and I like to think it was not because of my 'censorship' but because he was intelligent enough to work out the right and wrong use of words for himself.
And like you, I have ranted and vented my spleen and sworn like a trooper, and rather shocked the kids in the process, but I do apologise afterwards and I suppose the slightly positive side to my losing control in such a childish, and I hasten to add, rare manner, is that they do at least see that sometimes you can push your mother just a bit too far! (ie: failing to answer your bloody mobile phone while mother sits in a car at midnight outside the 'Muse' concert in amongst what looked like a middle-aged demented school run, waiting to take said teenager and his brother home and wanting to tell them where she had parked. His answer as to why he didn't answer his phone was, 'Oh, I saw it was you, and got fed up with you bothering me, so I ignored it.'..I think I showed admirable restraint under the circumstances, merely cursing!!!)
(no subject)
Date: 2004-03-16 06:56 pm (UTC)I have had full-blown tantrums when the teens have pushed all the buttons and they KNOW that lines have been crossed and the frothing-at-the-mouth creature was their making...
I will after the fact breakdown for them the exact process they used for the reaction they had witnessed..causation and effect...and tell them they were lucky to get their ears lashed and not their behinds ~_^